Smocky Horror Picture show
by Murderee
Summary: Its funny i think! Lol. read & review & ill luv u 4eva. 1st rocky fic! no flaming ta :P
1. Science Fiction, & 4 other genres

Hello! I am new to RHPS fanfiction, but not to fanfiction itself. I was SHOCKED! And SURPRISED! When I saw how few RHPS stuff there was on here. So I decided to add to it woot.  
  
I would like, if I may, to invite you to read this amusing parody of the RHPS. It does take the Michael of it, but in a funny way. Yay.  
  
The Smocky Horror Picture Show   
  
Science Fiction  
  
Let there be lips! They start to sing  
  
Michael Rennie was ill the day the earth stood still  
  
But who is he  
  
Anyway?  
  
Peter Hinwood was there in golden underwear  
  
Erik Bana was the huge-fat-green Hulk  
  
Then something went wrong  
  
For my head hit a gong  
  
And got caught in a celluloid peanut butter  
  
Then like a deadly sting ray  
  
It came from the USA  
  
And this is how the message was muttered!  
  
Science Fiction  
  
And 4 other genres  
  
Frank and Smocky  
  
Nothing rhymes with genres  
  
See domestics sing to  
  
Bread and Jam  
  
Anthony Hopkins stars in  
  
Silence of the Lambs  
  
Oh  
  
At the late-night, double feature, picture show  
  
I knew Leo the lion  
  
Was up in the sky, when  
  
Elton John thought he was the queen's equal  
  
And I really got hot  
  
When I saw Jean and Scott  
  
Fight in X-men 2, the sequel  
  
Johnny Depp said clowns,  
  
Gave him a frown  
  
Coz they scared the hell outta him,  
  
But when vampires go woo  
  
Said Dracula to Van Helsing  
  
"Born 1422, murdered 1462."  
  
Not really like a  
  
Science Fiction  
  
And 4 other genres  
  
Frank and Smocky  
  
Nothing rhymes with genres  
  
See domestics sing to  
  
Bread and Jam  
  
Anthony Hopkins stars in  
  
Silence of the Lambs  
  
Oh  
  
At the late-night, double feature, picture show  
  
I wanna see  
  
Oh  
  
At the late-night, double feature, picture show  
  
By Murderee  
  
Oh  
  
At the late-night, double feature, picture show  
  
The seats aren't free  
  
Oh  
  
At the late-night, double feature, picture show ...  
  
Kinda short, I know. But I'm going by the chapters on the DVD, and this is the end of the first one, so you know. So, as a treat, I'll put the next chapter up VERY SOON could I BE any nicer? 


	2. Damn, Jam

Hello! Again! On with the story! Woo! Also, as you can see, I've changed some names:  
  
Riff Raff – Reff Ruff  
  
Magenta – Pinkie  
  
Columbia – Cumbria  
  
Frank – I don't know. You guys have any suggestions?  
  
Rocky – Smocky  
  
Brad – Bread  
  
Janet – Jam  
  
Dr Scott – Dr Scoot  
  
Fat Transylvanian – Fat Monica  
  
Weeny Transylvanian – Lil Timewarp dude  
  
Why, you ask? I don't really know.  
  
###  
  
The Smocky Horror Picture Show  
  
###  
  
Damn, Jam!  
  
Music: [Wedding music]  
  
Photographer: Here they come!  
  
People: ''going a bit hyper'' Woo! Yay! Giggle! Laugh! Chortle! Running about manically!  
  
Photographer: Parents, and the grandparents! Yes, all the close family! And – click!  
  
Everyone: ''and again'' Laugh! Giggle! More manic running!  
  
''Bread and Ralph start punching each other pretty hard really''  
  
Ralph: ''punches Bread on the shoulder'' Well, I guess we really did it, huh?  
  
Bread: ''punches Ralph in the mouth, while saying sarcastically'' No, you don't say!  
  
Ralph: ''wiping blood from his mouth and looking confused'' But I just did.  
  
Bread: I was just – oh forget it. Anyway, I don't think there's any doubt about that, you and Betty have been almost inseperable since you met at Dr Scoot's refresher course. Of course, I have to mention Dr Scoot at all times possible, after all I am madly in love with him! ''unbuttons shirt to reveal a t-shirt which reads 'I LOVE DR SCOOT'''  
  
Ralph: Don't you think it's a bit ... unhealthy to love a balding old aged teacher in a wheelchair?  
  
Bread: but Ralph ''launching into a big speech'' where would this world be without teachers like Dr Scoot? The youth of today would not be right without teachers like him. Not to mention the youth of tomorrow! So speak up America! Speak up for the teachers you know! Speak up -  
  
Ralph: Bread, shut up! Oh look, Betty's throwing her bouquet.  
  
Betty: ''in her extremely annoying voice'' Ok you guys this is it! You ready?  
  
Jam: ''currently shooting everyone'' No, 1 sec!  
  
''a small pause later''  
  
Jam: Ready!  
  
''everyone who was going to try for the bouquet is dead on the floor. Reff Ruff and Pinkie (in their American Gothic outfits of course) clean them up''  
  
Bouquet: ''sailing through the air'' Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  
  
Jam: ''catches it'' I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I g I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it!  
  
Reff Ruff: For the sake of every person who's really an alien but somehow ended up outside an Earthian church carrying a pitchfork, shut up!  
  
Ralph: Hey big fella! Looks like it could be your turn next!  
  
''The wedding car arrives''  
  
Ralph: See ya Bread. ''goes''  
  
Bread: I think its time for my thoughtful face ''pretends to stroke his (quotemarks) beard (end quotemarks) and looks (quotemarks) thoughtful (end quotemarks).''  
  
''Ralph & betty drive away. Suddenly no ones there except Bread, Jam, an old woman, & Pinkie & Reff Ruff in disguise''  
  
Jam: Oh Bread wasn't it wonderful?  
  
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: No  
  
Jam: Didn't Betty look radiantly beautiful?  
  
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: No  
  
Pinkie: Her dress was simply GHASTLY  
  
Jam: I can't believe it, an hour ago she was plain old Betty Munroe, and now – now she's still plain old Betty but with a different surname! ''sighs''  
  
''they walk past the old woman''  
  
Woman: Oh, I always cry at weddings  
  
Jam: ''pushes her in a ditch''  
  
Bread: Yes Jam, Ralph's a lucky guy  
  
Jam: Yes!  
  
Bread: Er – everyone knows that Betty's good at poisoning people  
  
Jam: Yes!  
  
Bread: Are you going to say that to everything?  
  
Jam: Yes!  
  
Bread: Hmm ... ''has a cunning idea'' Are you stupid & smelly & look like Harry Potter?  
  
Jam: No dear, that's you  
  
Music: Doo doo!  
  
Bread: Hey Jam  
  
Jam: Yes Bread?  
  
Bread: I've got something to say  
  
Jam: Uh huh?  
  
Bread: I really hate the – disgusting way – you shot the other girls, for the bride's bouquet.  
  
Jam: ''taking as compliment'' Oh, Bread  
  
''SONGTIME!''  
  
Bread: The river was deep but I swam  
  
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: Jam  
  
Bread: I didn't know how to swim but now I can  
  
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: Jam  
  
Bread: But in the process, I drowned a lamb  
  
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: Jam  
  
Bread: I've one thing to say, & that's – Damn, Jam! You look like spam  
  
Jam: Oh Bread  
  
Bread: And to prove what a fool I am  
  
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: Jam  
  
Bread: I gave all my clothes to Oxfam  
  
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: Jam  
  
Bread: So now, I need a clothes plan  
  
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: Jam  
  
Bread: I've one thing to say, & that's – Damn, Jam! You look like spam  
  
Jam: Squeal!  
  
Bread: gets down on one knee Here's a ring to prove that I'm a snotter  
  
Coz really I don't like you  
  
And – I – look – like – Harry potter!  
  
Oh, J-A-M you're gross you're just like spam  
  
Jam: ''runs inside & looks at the ring. Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria are cleaning the church'' Oh! The rock is the shape of my Dad's head!  
  
Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria: Oh Bread  
  
Jam: Unfortunately, my dad is now dead  
  
Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria: Oh Bread  
  
Jam: But who really cares what he said  
  
Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria: Oh Bread  
  
Jam: I've one thing to say, & that's – Oh, Bread, you've gone all red  
  
''they walk up the isle doing frog steps for some reason''  
  
Jam: Oh, Bread ...  
  
Bread: Oh ... Jam  
  
Jam: Dad's dead ...  
  
Bread: Oh ... Spam!  
  
Jam: Who cares ...  
  
Bread: I feel the sa-a-a-a-ame  
  
Bread & Jam: This song is so-o lame!  
  
Bread: There once was a band called Wham  
  
Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria: Jam  
  
Bread: I'm running out of things to rhyme with Jam  
  
Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria: Ham?  
  
Bread: You're asking me to sing about ham?  
  
Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria: But – Wham?!  
  
Bread: I've one thing to say, & that's - Damn, Jam – you look like spam  
  
Bread: Damn, Jam  
  
Jam: Bread, you're red  
  
Bread: Damn, Jam –  
  
Both: Jam – is – spam!  
  
###  
  
Ok so that was so fun to write! Keep on reviewing & I'll love you! 


End file.
